No sooner had I left the house when bam, I was pulled over by the police. My dogs didn't even lift their heads when I rolled down the window.
To truly appreciate this story, you have to read the words of the cop with the voice inflections of Dan Aykroyd. Think Blues Brothers.
That is just what he sounded like.
"License and registration Ma'am."
Looks for license, can see friends that I haven't seen in years going in Bill Ash's bar, and I smiled a big smile just as the cop's flashlight shines into my pocketbook.
"What's in the plastic bag ma'am?"
Flashback to high school. Blood pressure shoots up.
"Plastic bag? Huh?"
Looks into pocketbook and sees old cheese from a dog training session the day before. Ok, maybe the day or so before that even.
Showed cop entire contents of bag before pulling out dead cheese and stifled a giggle.
Dogs heard rustling of bag and stood up, looked expectantly at cop.
Cop pointed flashlight on dog's snouts, lingered on Collie's long snouty.
"That is old cheese, I am a dog trainer", I say a bit sheepishly.
After I got the speech about next time use a blinker and questions about if I had moved out of state because my license in MA was revoked the flashlight is again pointed at the Collie.
"People do that you know Ma'am."
No, I didn't know that.
"What kind of dog is that Ma'am?"
"Doesn't look like a Collie Ma'am."
'It's a Collie."
"Doesn't Look like any Collie I have ever seen. What is he mixed with?"
"It is a Collie, a Smooth Collie."
"Did you shave the Collie Ma'am?"
Tried really really hard not to laugh, and at that point I looked in the rear view mirror and both sides of the car for a camera crew. I thought for a sec that maybe I was being filmed for one of those TV shows.
"No, he is a Smooth, they come that way."
Points flashlight back to Collie.
"Are they a nice family dog Ma'am?"
"Yes, pretty nice dog, a little barky though, like a Sheltie."
I am getting a little punchy and looked again for hidden cameras.
"But are they good with the kids Ma'am?"
"Yes, pretty nice, if you don't mind a bit of barking."
Went in for the win and milked the family dog angle.
"I have three kids and the Collie loves them."
"Can I give the Collie a bit of the cheese Ma'am?"
I looked around again for a hidden for camera before saying "sure, here you go."
Then I got a speech about defensive driving and how I needed to take note that I wasn't in Maine anymore, and to please have a safe night and then he asked me to please not keep the dogs out too late.
After I drove off and parked just up the block, I gave the Collie the rest of the cheese before meeting my old friends at the bar.
Then I told the story to everyone I know, and we laughed - a lot.
The awesome photo of Finney was taken by Meredith Purdue, and Unlimited Dogs
This post was published on Maine Today in 2009. I will be taking select favorite posts from my blog on Maine Pets A Dog's Life and putting them here from time to time before they disappear forever into the interwebs.
RIP Maine Pets.