Saturday, October 16, 2010

If my dogs were people

Three Woofs and a Woo, is by far my favorite dog blog. Sheena, AKA The Cookie Lady runs a Border Collie Rescue out side of Vancouver BC, and her great photos and hysterical commentary of her wonderful dogs has made my day for the last several years. It was she who inspired me to put Charlee and Finney in the now almost famous blue rubber wig after she put her Tweed in a motorcycle helmet. She has once again inspired me with a recent "If my dogs were people" post. (Good thing she is so far away. Check the dog up for adoption  on the is post that looks JUST like Charlee's mini me.)

I have been a fan of finding an animal's inner person ever since we used to do it at the barn I rode at since I was 10 years old. It all started with Bridget, one of my first regular school horses. The biggest lesson that Bridget taught me was how to use my inside leg. No inside leg and Bridget would make the tweeniest circles in the middle of the ring. School horses think that the smaller circle they make the less they have to work. Bridget was an expert at knowing who could actually ride. For those of us who could, Bridget also taught us how to jump. Too far forward were ya? Then Bridget saw to it that you sailed over the jump without her.

Bridget was a great teacher, but at the same time she was a sad, bitchy, miserable creature. She was '"witchy" when I was 10 and was an even bigger witch a good 25 years later when I was shocked to see her still making tiny circles in the middle of the riding ring with beginners who had not yet learned to use their inside leg. Poor Bridget was purchased by gentlemen with special needs who only rode her on Sundays. Don kept Bridget in the school for a break in his board, and to have her ready for him to ride on Sundays. Bridget was about 4 when I met her and she was a school horse for most of her long miserable life. When she wasn't in the ring, she was wearing a cribbing strap around her neck to keep her from sucking in air all day every day. She needed to be turned out by herself, or she would kick or bite the other horses. I always brought an extra carrot for poor Bridget.

I still remember the day we were giving human personalities to the 40 odd horses at the barn and my friend Lisa NAILED Bridget. I mean she nailed her.

If Bridget were human she would work as a  chamber maid at a low cost motel. She would wrap on your door with her raspy cigarette smoker's voice, and in her slow methodical way exclaim "housekeeping, time to make the beds." Poor Bridget would never vary from this routine and she would repeat it over and over for life. Yes Bridget was a miserable chamber maid, no doubt about it.

If my last dog Dina were human, she would have been in a healing profession, Doctor, Pediatrician, Counselor. She was super smart, loved people and Dina had an amazing ability of knowing what ailed a person. A nurse told me she sensed the change of electric current in a body. On many an occasion during the 10 years we did pet therapy Dina would lay her head where ever a person's injury was, even if it was old - with no bandage or anything. Head injuries, hip injuries, you name it, she found it. People would tear up and reach for her and say "She knows." It was awesome.

Charlee's human personality became clear to me when she was 3 years old and she had a free reading from a pet psychic at a dog event. I asked  "what the hell does Charlee want and how can I help her to be less reactive." I asked "does the dog want to come with me in the car and to work or not." The woman put on her best valley girl voice and said something like. "that sounds good , no I don't like that." For every question I asked, Charlee gave two conflicting answers. Charlee was a very conflicted dog in her younger days, but for the most  part she has grown out of it. Once  a Valley girl,  Charlee would now be the person at the beach who would blast you for coming too close to her towel, and  youngsters would know better than to play their radio near by, but at the same time. Charlee would have the oldest and dearest friends. Her close friends woud know her  for the kind soul that she was, and know that she was crunchy on the outside and soft in the middle.

Charlee would run a non profit and everyone who worked under would respect her, but at the same time fear her just a little.  Charlee is a patron of the arts and dabbles in singing and stand up comedy.That girl  loves an audience.

We have jokingly called  Finney "husband dog" since he was quite young. Finn has a lot of traits that I would look for in a mate.

He is good looking!
He has a beautiful body!
He is all about family.
He is smart! (but not too smart.)
Takes his work very seriously.
Opposite of a slacker.
Finn is respectful of others.

Finn would maybe be a teacher, or computer geek.. Finn would have a pocket protector and be rather nerdy, but everyone would like him. He would be the union leader and peace keeper in his place of work. Finn is a stand up guy and he doesn't hog the bed.

He would be the annoying neighbor who lost his cool now and again and yelled at the neighborhood kids that played in front of the house.  He is a bit quirky and has  OCD, but hey, no one is perfect.  Pretty sure Finney  would keep a gun in the house for protection. Finn would be a gentleman farmer,  and be a bit anal about his garden.  Of course he is very clean and a great cook. 

Not sure if Meggie would be in high school or college. but either way, she would at the very top of her class and have a lot of friends. She would be the kind of kid who used her womanly wiles to get her way.  Meggie  would be majoring in business and no doubt - she is fast tracking her MBA. 

Sapphire is currently on the dole, but she is getting her GED. She has a bit of adversity of overcome, but now that she has a mentor that she trusts, great things are in store for her.

MBA Meggie and GED Sapphire are available for adoption through

Do tell, what would your pets be like if they were human?


melf said...

Well heck! I've never even thought about this before!

Hmmm.... I think Daisy would be the shy but sweet mother at home taking care of this kids. Playful at times, but serious too.

Jasper would be the high school or college equivalent of a Casanova. He is so flirty with some of the women at the dog park it's unbelievable (and I'm talking the human kind!). He also seems to do much better with female guests than males. Not that he dislikes the males, but he prefers to play with the girls, unless it's his friend Henry.

KathyF said...

I think Bailey always wanted to be a bin man (aka, garbage man). She thought the stuff they worked with was really neat.

Of course I had higher goals for her, but alas, she never quite found her calling:

Sparky hasn't settled on a calling either. He's still in high school, though, and enjoying being Big Blond Guy on Campus. Loving playing football and soccer. Hasn't quite figured out how to attract the girls--his exuberance doesn't seem to be working.